Howard Stern On Demand

Miss Howard TV Video

20 Questions for Miss Howard TV

What's your hometown and where do you live now?

Grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland.  Currently split my time between New York and LA.

What do you do from 9-5?

Make music and listen to Howard.

What do you do after that?

Make music and listen to Howard.

What are your goals in life?

To be a good person, to make people happy, and to make a living making music.

Describe all the great things about yourself.

There is absolutely nothing great about me.  I am quite ordinary and nondescript.

How did you become a Howard Stern fan?

Lying in the bed after getting my boobs done…Howard killed the pain. (Well, Howard and the percocets)

What are some of your favorite Howard TV episodes?

The small penis contest and the Sybian ride where Gary got squirted in the eye by that Asian porn chick.

What does Howard Stern mean to you?

Everything!!!  I can't breathe without him!

What do you find sexy in a man?

Fat fingers.

If you could have sex with someone on the Howard Stern Show, who would it be and why?

I could never choose just one!!!  But the line would start behind ta-ta-toothey!!!  He's soooooooo sweet and I bet he has really fat fingers - ha!!!

What's the best way for a guy to pick up a hot chick like you?

I'd rather pick you up.

What's the strangest place you've ever done it?

Fast food restaurant counter.

Have you ever had a lesbian experience?  Please explain…

Puh-lease!!!  What can I tell you that you haven't already seen Janine Lindemulder do?

Tell us about your wildest night ever!!!

I had sex with 3 guys in one night once…

Have you ever had a threesome?  If so, tell us about it…

Technically, i think it was a foursome…

What's your best physical feature?  Why?

My feet.  Because my Barney Rubble toes always make people laugh!

If you could have one wish granted, what would it be?

Health, happiness, and laughter for everyone in the whole wide world!

Who is your role model?

Anyone who can afford their rent.

What's your worst vice?

Consuming large quantities of French white wine…cursing like a sailor…buying lingerie…a.d.d/o.c.d (though these aren't really vices per se, I suppose they are more like conditions)

How has winning the Miss Black Howard Stern pageant changed your life?

I suddenly have a ton of new friends that feel like family!

Miss Howard TV Blog

OMG!!!  Today was the best day EVER!!! 
(Well, maybe the second best.)

A few days after I won the Miss Black Howard Stern contest (THAT was the best day), Isaac Mark started calling me.  He's a senior producer for Howard TV and he wanted me to be Miss Howard TV for the month of May.  I likened the opportunity to being a “VIDEO HO”, especially since Isaac said he wanted me to wear a thong for the shoot.  But being the camera whore that I am, I jumped at the chance!

After a week of dickering over the “costuming” (sadly, I said no to the thong), we finally found some common ground in a pair of bootylicious red short shorts, a cleavage baring wife beater, and some super sporty knee socks!  YEA!!!  Thankfully, the outfit turned out to be much more cute and camp-y than it was hot and hooker-y!  I felt relieved that my dad could probably watch without totally freaking out.

When I arrived at the Sirius studios the morning of the shoot, the cast was still “on-air”.   And when they finished I finally got to meet Robin and Fred!!!  They were both superfabulous…and much taller and more beautiful than they look on TV.  But hello???  Can you believe I still haven't met Howard??? I saw him sauntering down the hallway TWICE!  WTF??? I am Miss Black Howard Stern you know!   Who do I have to talk to about this?  Did someone not get the f'ing memo??? I wanna meet Howard!!! Isn't that in my contract somewhere?  JEEZ! But I digress...

So anyway, I got to Sirius, set up camp in the green room and had my makeup done by the gorgeous Najwa C. of Mess Studios.  She painted my face, oiled up my body and a good time was had by all…especially by me!  (Actually, I think that was the most action I'd had all week!)

Once I was sufficiently coiffed and oiled (or so I thought) the multi-tasking and multi-talented Isaac pounced on me.  It seems that Isaac is not only a senior producer at Howard TV but he is also a scriptwriter, wardrobe stylist, hair guru, songwriter and all around MacGyver!  He looked me up and down and immediately starting “adjusting” my t-shirt.   More cleavage was needed.  F**K!  Why don't I just take off my t-shirt and walk around in sparkly pasties and a g-string?  Then he was fussing with my hair…poofing it…flattening it…then finally adding a purple flower he had purchased at the corner bodega.   THEN he was pulling out all this crazy jewelry he wanted me to wear… neon green bangles, plastic earrings circa 1980 and a gold plated necklace made from handcuffs!   The flower was a nice touch but I had to pass on the jewelry!  It was NEON for crying out loud.  P-U!!!

About an hour after I arrived, I was finally ready to head into the studio and shoot my segments.  Well, that's when the s**t really hit the fan! 

Isaac:              I hope you're prepared to stay until 3pm!

Me:                 Ummm, I have a photoshoot at 2…

Isaac:              I hope you know how to read off of a teleprompter!

Me:                 Ummm, I think I did it like once or twice in college… 

Isaac:              Oh, btw - here's the FIVE PAGE script you need to familiarize yourself with AND a song to learn.  You've got three minutes!

Me:                  WTF??!!!  This is like the most stressful video ho job EVER!  It never looked this hard on MTV!

And it was hard!  My feet were f'ing killing me.  I had to stand on a wooden box in 4” heels for 4 hours straight (probably b/c because I'm a shorty)!  I also had to repeat the same things a hundred times over so they could get different angles on the camera (and also cuz I kept flubbing my lines).  And during the whole first hour of shooting (we shot for 4 hours…did I mention that already?), Isaac kept telling me to stand up straight, stand still and to stop making funny faces into the camera!!!  And I kept trying to explain to him that I couldn't stop moving OR making faces…that's just how I roll!   I have more tics than my best friend, Q., who has really bad Tourette's!   Apparently, they were looking for “sexy and serene” and I was giving them “dorky and over caffeinated”. Thankfully, Brian Phelan and the rest of the crew came to my rescue by saying, “Please don't make Charlie do it again…she's driving us BANANAS and making us nervous!”  HA HA HA!   So Isaac, still a little dejected over the whole green neon bracelet thing, gave up!

Oh yeah, but I almost forgot…before the HTV crew completely gave up on me, there was the song.  The song that Isaac wrote…the song that I had to sing a cappella…the song that I couldn't remember to save my life…the song that I had to do over like 5 GAZILLION times…the song that could end my career as a recording artist FOREVER!  HA!!!  I can't wait to hear the song…

In the end, my day shooting Miss Howard TV was the most fun I've ever had standing up!  And even though I complained a lot (hell, I'm still complaining two days later), I had a blast!

So when you see me out there introducing the shows for May, just keep in mind that ANYTHING that makes me look remotely cute, fun, cool, or thin is probably all due to the magic of makeup, TV and the fabulous HTV crew…Isaac, Brian, Matt McCarthy, Joe Jordan, Nick Linder, Mike Grabowski and Berf (did I spell that right?  I hope I didn't forget anyone!)  I know I drove those guys crazy, but I really hope they'll invite me back.  Cuz honestly, if the music thing doesn't work out for me, I may have to give this video ho thing a go!

Whoo-hoo!!!

Love,

Charlie!

Visit my website at www.charliesuperfly.com